Thursday, August 19, 2010 | By: Tangy

Let's try this again.

I have been bad. Not just a little bad, but B-A-D!! I have been skipping workouts and eating too much junk! And not updating on here at all!! But all of this is about to change :)

I have been slightly obsessed with a certain social networking site for about three and a half years now. Back in the day when I still used Myspace, I noticed an add for a site for moms. I immediately went to check it out and just like that--I was hooked. I was 22 years old. I had recently moved 1000 miles away from my family and friends and life as I knew it to be with my husband Pete at Fort Hood, Texas. Right before our move, I was working two jobs--one at a hospital, one at a pharmacy, and going to school full-time. We got married September 3, 2005, as high school sweethearts and after two years of dating. By the end of September 2005, Pete was gone for Basic Training at Fort Knox and then left for AIT in Maryland. I got to see him twice during this time, once at Basic graduation and then for a week he got off for Christmas. Not your typical newlyweds! Shortly after I rang in 2006 alone, I found out I was pregnant. Then we found out about our orders to go to Fort Hood. We moved to Copperas Cove, Texas, when I was five months pregnant. I tried to find a job right away but no one would hire me. Hmm who would want to hire a big pregnant lady? So for the first time since I was 14 I didn't have a job!! I spent my time reading and eating and watching tv instead of going out and trying to make friends.

On September 12, 2006, our son Peter was born. 9 lbs, 2 oz. Big boy! I was still adjusting to being married and finally getting to be with my husband and living in a new state in an entirely different geographic region with military culture. Then I had a baby to add to the mix! Then, when Peter was only six weeks old, Pete left for his first deployment to Iraq. Here I was, 22, completely alone, with a brand new baby and no familiar faces. I was more than a little overwhelmed. I think I spent the first three days after Pete left just walking around crying. But I couldn't go on like that. I had bills to pay, a small apartment to maintain, and a newborn to take care of. There was no one else to do these things for me or help me out. I had to grow up a lot. My feelings of loneliness were so strong as well as my uncertainty of a first-time mom. So Cafemom felt like a God-sent!

I "met" so many people those first few months of being on that site. I found a local mom's group full of moms just like me--young with little kids who knew what it was like to be a military wife! Score! And so many other kinds of women. I realized I had led a pretty sheltered life up to that time. I made some friendships there in Texas as well as many others from afar. I think it really helped me get through that fifteen month deployment. I finally had support and some adult interaction. I started to feel like Tangy again. It was nice.

Now I'm not writing this to be all nostalgic, and you may be wondering, what the heck does this have to do with my weight loss? Cafemom means so much to me on so many levels. It has been part of my life longer than my daughter has. I have let it get too far. It has become too all-consuming. I care so much about everyone on there and can't wait to see the latest story that I have been putting myself and my family on the back burner. I have to distance myself for a while. I have been spending more time online every day than working out or reading to my kids, and that is a problem. So I am taking a little break. It will KILL me. I will be so tempted to log in real quick on my phone, but I am not even going to do that. I have to spend my time doing other things. Like cleaning so that during naptime I can go workout instead of cleaning up for two hours.

I am going to re-commit myself to working out and eating clean. This is going to be a big challenge for me because I have commitment issues with changing my life. I can't ever seem to stick with anything!! I know I have to change my habits if I want to see any results. Starting tomorrow I will be logging in everything I eat and every workout I do or Don't do. I will learn what works for me and what doesn't by being completely honest with myself. And with whoever else wants to see.

Something important I am going to start doing--setting goals for the next day. Tomorrow's goals: wake up and go running with Clark, clean my house throughout the day, do p90x at naptime, make a clean family meal for dinner, and keep my carb intake in check. I'll be back tomorrow!

2 comments:

Jenn said...

Best of luck with your efforts to refocus. I'm pulling for you!

Tangy said...

thank you! I know I have it in me to do this!!

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