Monday, October 11, 2010 | By: Tangy

4 lbs in 15 days!

That is my new goal! I have been majorly slacking and making some very bad food judgements!! My eating has really just gotten ridiculous. It needs to match my workouts!! I shouldn't still be in the 160s after nearly a year of working my butt off in the gym! (well, technically not the gym. The pavement and my home workout room!)

My birthday is in 15 days. I do not want to ring in another year feeling depressed about my weight!!

15 days is a day over 2 weeks. It is my goal to lose 2 lbs each week, to be down 4 lbs by the big day. This is a reasonable, attainable goal IF I do not mess up my eating!!

My plan:

1) Figure out the day before what I will eat the following day. I am an impulsive person and I need some structure if I want to have a good eating day!

2) Also plan out my workouts. I usually do not have a problem with this but I like to see a well thought-out plan of workouts, like how p90x is arranged. I'm still on hiatus from p90x but I can still structure my workouts and have a planned rest day.

3) Channel my nervous energy into something besides eating. When I want to eat, I will have a cup of green tea. I will also find something else to keep me busy, which should be cleaning!

I really hope I can stick to this and get back into the 150s and leave the 160s forever!
Saturday, October 9, 2010 | By: Tangy

How bad do I want this??

I've been a bad, bad girl this week. I have my moments of being a good girl but I'm pretty sure the pan of brownies, pumpkin pie, and container of Rocky Road ice cream ruined my chances of seeing any movement on the scale!! I am super motivated to do my workouts but notsomuch in the kitchen. I'm not sure where I went wrong. I am really questioning clean eating. If I am never satisfied with the foods I am "allowed" then something isn't right. I can't keep trying to do something I'm not capable of doing! I have had some good eating weeks that have also produced zero movement on the scale. Something is keeping me stuck at 163 and it isn't my workouts!!

I'm going to experiment with a new eating plan over the next week. I'm going to try and focus my eating around real foods around the perimeter of the grocery store. That part will stay the same. But I want to focus more on fat rather than protein. My skin and hair are TERRIBLE right now!! My hair has never been this dry and I don't think my skin has been, either. I am constantly itching my legs. I was reading a blog earlier this week whose author had tried and gained weight with clean eating. So that made me wonder if it wasn't me, maybe it was the diet. Maybe I'm not such a failure, afterall!!

So next week starts a new adventure. I did lose weight and inches when I started the Abs diet last summer so I will also be following that, emphasising my choices on the 12 powerfoods. Doing some Abs recipes. Cutting out the sugar!!!! I think this is key. So no more lowfat, high protein diet for me. I'm going to try higher fat, more complex carbs like starchy veggies and oats, and I'm reintroducing two of my old favs: bacon and butter! I hope that if I feel more satisfied after every meal that I will be less likely to want to cheat and eat between meals. I'm also going to make sure that 3 of my workouts next week are strength training. This week I have only done one. I MUST be under 160 by my birthday on October 26!! I hope changing up my eating does the trick!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010 | By: Tangy

I need a Calgon Moment

If I've learned anything so far in my almost-26-years of living, it is that life cannot be planned. It is constantly surprising you and taking twists and turns that you don't expect and taking you down unmarked paths. I never quite envisioned the journey I've had. I had a 10-year plan. I remember sitting down with Pete while we were still dating and we made out a plan. We had it all figured out. I was going to get my PharmD and we were going to wait until I graduated to get married. Then we were going to buy a house, work and travel for a couple years, then think about having kids. In this plan, I was going to become a mother for the first time at around 27 or 28 years old. We were going to have a big beautiful house in the suburbs and be very rich and very happy and have a big boat in our garage along with our luxury car and our big truck.

Then reality hit. I couldn't afford to go to school. I couldn't get the financial aid and my parents couldn't help me. I was scared of having thousands and thousands of dollars worth of student loans. I did the unthinkable--I enrolled at a community college and majored in something that had a future--nursing. Pete and I both got sick in the same month and had to miss a lot of work. We fell behind in our bills and could no longer afford to live in our apartment. We both had to move back in with our parents. Not wanting to live like this forever, we decided it would be best for Pete to enlist in the Army.

Ahhhh yes, we were going to be living the life. We were going to get stationed in some great, exotic, location, like Iceland or Germany or Hawaii. All of our problems would work themselves out and Pete would somehow dodge getting deployed during his three and a half year contract.

Of course none of that happened. We got stationed in a place no more exotic than home--Fort Hood, Texas. Surrounded by dirt. Hours away from any major cities or the ocean. Two deployments. Two babies. We can't wait til Pete gets out of the Army because nothing good has happened.

We get him out of the Army and look forward once again to the good life. Well, I'm still waiting. In hindsight, we had the good life while in the Army. Yes, there were deployments but at the time we were blindfolded by all of the negatives that we could not see the overwhelming amount of good things that had come to us. The real world doesn't have job security or great-paying jobs to people with no college education. No vacation time, no benefits. Just that cold shiver down your back wondering how you are going to make it another month. Having to decide between kids' clothes or food or bills. Living in constant stress and anxiety.

Having children was something I always wanted to do. In fact, it was part of the plan to have four. We both came from families with four siblings, and we wanted a big happy family. It wasn't going to be a problem because we were going to be rich and have a big house and be able to afford full-time help. We were going to take them on vacation and put them in the best schools and they were going to make us so happy.

Of course, we decided two was plenty. Why people willingly decide to have any more than two is just beyond me. Craziness. I never, ever wanted to stay at home with them. I am a smart woman, I have value to society. I did not belong at home. I hate cleaning and I've never really felt at ease around children. But what can a person do for work who doesn't have a bachelor's degree and who hasn't had steady work experience for the past five years because of moving five times because of the military?! AND be able to pay for daycare for two kids? Yeah, it wasn't gonna happen. So here I am, a stay-at-home mom. Not even just a stay at home mom, but a babysitter. I watch other people's kids to help support my family. I do not even get one-on-one time with my own children and I just absolutely hate that. I hate feeling jealous of people who have all this time to devote to their one child, or who are constantly on the go with their two. I am home-bound during the day and by the time 6 o'clock rolls around, I am DONE. I find myself waiting for someone to come pick up MY kids so I can finally be off of work. But nope, no such luck.

Maybe this sounds horrible to you. Just stop reading and go back to your perfect life. Maybe this sounds like your life as well, and secretly I hope I'm not alone. It's just how I feel. I am constantly fanticising about getting away. Anywhere. I keep thinking about getting a job. I apply for every single one I am qualified to do, and some that are probably out of my reach. I cannot stay home for another month. I am literally pulling my hair out. I leave chunks of it all over the house. I get angry. I yell. I get too consumed by stress and feelings of self-loathing that I cannot bring myself to do any housework, and then I get even more stressed out that I have a messy house. I have short hours of sanity immediately following my workouts but unfortunately I do not have enough time to workout every two or three hours throughout the day to keep up the endorphin high.

I think of that 10-year plan and I wonder, "where did I go wrong?" Is it my fault that I wasn't born to middle-class parents? Nah, I don't blame my parents for being poor. They worked hard to get to the point where they made just enough so I wouldn't qualify for any financial aid. Is it my fault that I live in a small economically depressed town? I suppose so. Although it is the only place I could afford to pay rent. Am I doing everything right or am I doing it all wrong?? I already realize that having kids before finishing school was not a smart decision but I don't regret having them. Are they abnormally rowdy and stubborn? Yes. Is it normal to constantly wish I could be taken away, like those Calgon commercials..."Calgon, Take Me Away!" I don't know.

I can only hope that my life is in the way more capable hands of someone else, and that everything I am going through is all for a reason. That one day I won't dread getting out of bed and living my life, that one day I will finally feel like things have worked out how they are supposed to be. It is the only thing that gives me hope. Until that day happens, I have a new 10-year plan. It isn't mapped out in chronological order and it isn't as specific or as eventful as my first list, since many of my major life changes have already occured. I don't have the same materialistic desires as I once had. I just want a simple, happy life. I want to have a career that I love, I want to be a homeowner, I want to go on a real vacation and finally see the ocean, and I want to be debt-free. I just want to feel "normal" like everyone else and not feel like my world is constantly closing in on me. I just hope it isn't too much to ask.
Sunday, October 3, 2010 | By: Tangy

Wake me up when September ends!

I have been MIA for a while but now I am back--for a while!! We are going to be getting rid of our home internet for a while but I think I can log in from my phone. Oh the joys of budgeting!!

September was a crazy busy month around here!! I had plans every single weekend!! The first weekend was Labor Day weekend, which I talked about in my previous post. The second weekend I can't even remember what I did!! The third weekend Pete had drill. He started Police Institute Training at the beginning of the month and he had to be in Springfield from Sunday night til Friday afternoon so him being gone just added to the craziness! Since he had drill (2 hours away) he didn't get to come home at all for two weeks and we all missed each other so me and the kids made the 2 hour drive to go stay with his grandparents, who live about 15 min away from drill. The kids had a great time with their great-grandparents and 102 year-old great-grandma! And then it was crunch time: only a week before the wedding!!

I gave it everything I had that last week. I never skipped a workout and I ate very well. It wasn't enough to look the way I wanted to look in my dress or even zip it up all the way with a bra on. So Pete improvised and we shoved the girls up with socks and used a lot of tape to keep them in place!! We had great results! I stayed in my dress all night and even had a little lift! I was able to have someone come to my house to do my hair, and she did a great job!! Thank you Jaclyn DeRubeis! I had gotten a sample of Shiseido The Makeup foundation from Macys and OMG that stuff is AHHH-MAZING! I do not have great skin! I have the oily skin of a 15 year-old and it is so uneven. I've been a Bare Escentuals devotee the past two years but it just does not cover like this stuff or keep me from getting shiny--this stuff did the job! I love makeup a little too much ;) I would love to do makeup for a side job.

Here are some pictures from the wedding (unedited)

this is a really cool shot but I wish the lighting was better!! I have been experimenting with some editing here.

all of us bridesmaids :)

Pete and I

random pic from the reception

ughh blurry! but they had cupcakes! yumm!

Peter enjoying his strawberry-filled cupcake

my sister Brittany and myself

another view from the head table

and little dancing queen!! She danced for two hours and didn't want to stop! She stole the dance floor!

Thursday, September 16, 2010 | By: Tangy

Cleaning up an old fav!

Pete's first job after he left the Army was with Schwans. In case you didn't know, it is a food company that delivers food to your home. We both kind of thought it would be helpful for him as a salesperson to try some of the products, and it helped that we got a little discount. Our hands-down, favorite thing was the Garlic Chicken Pizza Flatbread. Two crunchy, thin flatbreads with a creamy garlicy white sauce with chicken and cheese. ***drool*** Oh so tasty but definitely nothing even resembling clean!! I saw a recipe via Facebook last night for a blog I "like" that featured a homemade pizza recipe. I used the crust recipe here but I did not put it in a skillet like the author did. I was pleasantly surprised that I got the dough to rise--all my past experiences with yeast have been complete failures--and this was a good, soft, whole-wheat dough. Next time I will try to find one that cooks more flatbread-style, but this was good. I divided my dough into 4 sections to make 4 little pizzas. I baked them on two cookie sheets on 400* for about 10 minutes. While they were baking, I decided to experiment with my toppings. I chopped and sauted 3 cloves of garlic in about 2 tbsp olive oil for one minute, then added it to 1/2 cup low-fat ricotta cheese, 2 tbsp fat free plain greek yogurt, 2 tbsp parmesan cheese, a few dashes of pepper, and a tsp of italian herbs. I had some baked chicken breast in the fridge and I cut up one of them and added it to my cheese mixture. This made enough for two of the pizzas. I flipped the crusts after 10 minutes I topped each one with some fresh baby spinach.

Looks delicious, huh? I was hoping it would taste as good as it smelled. I baked it another 10 minutes and practically burned my mouth taking the first bite because I didn't want to wait for them to cool down! It was everything I was hoping it would be! A great alternative to one of my favorite pizzas, made much cheaper and much healthier by moi.

I had some leftover plain 'ole tomato sauce in my fridge also, so I wanted to use this as well. I sauteed 2 more cloves of garlic in olive oil (1 tbsp this time) and then added it to my sauce, plus a bit more freshly-grinded italian herb seasoning. Sooo good. I put this on the other two pizzas with a little cheese for my kids and they loved it!

I was so excited to find something we all loved that was not only healthy, but very inexpensive to make and I had all of the ingredients on-hand! I'm already thinking of making the garlic chicken pizza again on Friday night!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010 | By: Tangy


I feel like my motivation has taken a complete 180* turn for the worst!! I was at a stand-still and I think my metabolism had all but shut down from me overtraining and probably not taking in enough calories. My hip was so sore from all the running I was doing. So I decided to take a week off from running. That was my only intention, but in the process I have also taken a week and a half off from p90x. Now I just cannot seem to find that momentum again!! I'm at a stand-still. I used to look forward to working out all day and now I am finding myself dreading it and procrastinating until I no longer have time for a workout and all this needs to change, stat!! I need to find a happy medium of eating and exercise. I know right now I am not doing enough but before I was doing too much and I am not sure exactly how to meet myself in the middle. I have a really hard time not giving it 110% so I think that is why I just don't even want to try anymore!! ARRGGGG I really hope that today I will change all of this and get a workout in and start to feel motivated again!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010 | By: Tangy

If only my body would match my mind!

I have been feeling really good lately. I rarely have trouble finishing a workout or not being able to get all my reps in--yes it is time for some heavier weights, but I'm also getting so much stronger and my endurance is at an all-time high. It used to be my asthma that would hold me back from a good run or I just was too out of shape to complete something but that's not the case anymore. I CRAVE a good workout. I love to workout til I am tired and sore and I cannot physically do any more of whatever I am doing. And then I'll do that twice a day.

But I think I may have been keeping myself from getting the benefit of these workouts. My joints are constantly sore and I have this pain in my left hip/groin area that isn't going away. It starts really bugging me while I'm running and I just can't run anything further than 5 or 6 miles and I absolutely cannot do any sprint intervals because it hurts to bad when I am running fast. And this is not good for me as a runner to keep running the same distance and speed without changing things up. I'm never going to get any faster this way and I'm never going to build up my distance endurance, either. I'm really not sure what to do about my hip problem. I think I could take a little break from running to see if it gets better, because it doesn't just affect my running. There are other exercises I just cannot do right now, like dive-bombers, one-handed pushups; pretty much anything that requires me to have a wide stance with my legs. It sounds so simple, just STOP running. But it won't be nice outside for much longer and I am just addicted to running!! It feels so good and I look forward to my run every day! But I need this pain to go away! I might try taking a week off of running to see if it feels any better. It will KILL me but I think it must be done.

I've also been frustrated lately with my lack of weight loss! I've been working so hard and being so good with my diet and the scale has shown me NO lovin'! None! Over the weekend I took a break from working out and I ate a little more than usual, and it wasn't clean, and go figure--I have finally started losing again! So my gameplan for this week is no more running, and only one hard workout per day. It just seems like it isn't enough but if that's what will get me to lose, I'll do it!
Monday, September 6, 2010 | By: Tangy

Oh what a weekend :)

It was like, so totally tubular!! I kicked off my weekend with my sister's bachelorette party! We started off at a friends' house with a Surprise Party. For those less kinky readers, that is a TOY party!! Always fun to see what is out there and it rivals the awkward-ness of a Ben Stiller movie when both the mother and future mother-in-law of the bride are there! I could have done without seeing my mom walk out of there with a brown bag-o-goodies but I know she bought the candles. Candles, just candles, and maybe the nipple cream/lip gloss stuff. Keep telling yourself that, Tangy!

My night was not quite the night I had planned, however. Here's a timeline of how it progressed:

3:00- run out shopping and frantically look for a jacket to wear to the evening! It has suddenly started to get into the 40s and 50s at night and I am so unprepared!! Buy first jacket I see that isn't hideous, run back home!
5:30-hair, makeup, get dressed! wait for my sister Brittany to come pick me up!
6:10- Brittany arrives, we leave, she gives me some earrings and a Michael Jackson button to wear :)
6:15-have fun with Amber's friends, including her future MIL who was HILARIOUS at the toy party portion! have a mostly-liquor strawberry daquiri, 6 jello shots, and some kind of other shot that tasted like Sprite
9:15- Brittany drives us to a local carnival (DD by default for being pregnant!) for our first beer tent experience. Already starting to feel like shit, very drunk, and I had a KILLER headache! We stop at a gas station for Tylenol and water on the way there.
9:30- arrive at beer tent. See Pete and his parents, keep running into everyone. Labor Day beer tent is like a class reunion for the past 30 years of high school. Keep running into everyone but trying to hide a bit since the rest of the girls in 80s gear have not arrived yet!
9:45- the rest of the girls get there!! I ditch Pete to hang out with them and I go buy some alcohol tickets. Get a hurricane drink. Sip on it for a while, while headache gets worse and the noise keeps getting louder!
10:15- realize I am going to get sick--stat! I feel like total doo-doo and Pete asks me if I'm ready to go home. I reluctantly say yes, feeling super guilty for leaving my sis on her night. I found her and said good-bye and gave her the rest of my drink and my leftover tickets. Walk to pickup truck and expect to start throwing up at any moment.
10:25- just getting back into town, about a mile away from home. I cannot take it anymore!! I roll down my window and just let-er-rip outside. I was still puking when we pulled into our driveway!
10:30- get home, take out contacts and brush teeth and wash off makeup. Pass out shortly after.

I vow to not drink another drop of alcohol for a long, long time.
Sunday was a much better day! Pete and I had our first date since February!! We can almost never get a sitter, but my dad and his girlfriend offered to watch the kids for our anniversary and gave us dinner and a movie on-them so how could I say no?! We saw "Going the Distance" and I cannot remember the last time I laughed so hard at a movie!! I was DYING!! Crying, I was laughing so hard!! Pete really liked it, too! Score! Then I got some fresh highlights and a trim so I have decent hair at the wedding. We followed that with the most AWESOME mexican food, ever. I am salivating just thinking about it! We had fajitas for-two, and they were just amazing! So were the homemade chips and salsa. We'll definitely be back! We got some much-needed alone time and just had a great kids-free day!
I weighed today and I was pleasantly surprised to see I had lost a pound! It's not my official weigh-in day but hmm maybe it was a good thing I took it easy all weekend and splurged a little with my food! It sure seems to prove my stress theory for why I haven't been losing any weight despite strict clean nutrient-portioned eating and nearly 2 hours of daily workouts. I'm ready to get back into the grind tomorrow, though! I'm hoping this will be the week I will see 162!
Friday, September 3, 2010 | By: Tangy

5 Years of Fat, Flab, Food, Fitness, and Fabulousness!

This was us 5 years ago, today. September 3, 2005. We were such youngin's then! And gosh, were we FAT! You know that saying about how an old married couple starts to look alike after so many years?! Well, we started that early. See, we weren't fat when we first got together in 2003. We were both high school athletes; me in track and cross country, and Pete in football. Then we started dating. Many trips out to eat, ice cream at Dairy Queen, family functions full of food--you get the picture. We both slowly started gaining weight. Oh to have the metabolism of an 18 year old again! Then in 2004 we moved in together. We worked different shifts; me working 6-2pm and him working 9-5pm. I had to leave the house by 5am every day to get to work an hour away and I sure never cared about the nutrient of anything that I ate. It was all about cheap, convenience, and availability. If it was there, I'd eat it! And so would Pete. Suddenly, I went from 160 lbs when we first started dating, to 210 lbs! I wish I had that picture on my computer of when we were both at our heaviest. Pete was up to 240 from 175. And we had ZERO excuses. We could have bought healthy foods. We could have spent our time together doing something physical, like going for walks or runs or hitting the gym together. But we didn't. We used the excuse that we didn't have any time. HA! I'd kill to have all that time now!

I cut back on the food and started walking and I lost about 20 lbs before our wedding. I was right around 180 when I got married and I thought I was looking pretty good, considering I had hit the 200 mark! Pete left for basic training less than 3 weeks after our wedding. He came back much, much, thinner but I had not lost any more weight.

Right after Pete left from his Christmas break from AIT, I found out I was pregnant! I had just started working out regularly and I was able to run an 8 minute mile again--big accomplishment for a fat girl! I enjoyed my pregnancy from a food point of view! I didn't try to eat particularly healthy or unhealthy but I did just enjoy to eat! I got up to 227 lbs! We took this picture a couple days after I had Peter. I was DEVASTATED to see myself like this.

It doesn't quite become real til you see yourself in a picture!
A short 5 weeks after this picture was taken, Pete left for his first deployment to Iraq. He was gone for 15 months. I was an overwhelmed 22 year old with a 6 week old baby living in Texas when everyone I knew lived in Illinois! It was easy to feel depressed about my weight and that my husband was gone, but I really pulled it together and decided that I was SICK of feeling fat! I started taking Peter for daily hour-long walks in his stroller, sometimes twice-daily. I started doing Tae-Bo and following the South Beach diet. I joined Gold's Gym and really enjoyed taking group classes for the first time and just getting a little time to myself again since I really did NOT have any help with my son! I got down to 170 by the time Pete came home in January 2008.

This, of course, was short-lived! He had just spent over a year in Iraq, living on crappy Army food, and I had missed making big family meals and just cooking in general! We went out to eat, we ate, we didn't keep moving. I quickly gained 10 lbs. Then I found out I was pregnant with our daughter. I went crazy again with my eating. I worked at a place where people brought food in almost daily and I lived within a 5 mile radius of any fast food joint you could imagine. I think I stopped at Sonic at least 3x a week!

I ballooned back up to the 220's with baby #2. I didn't feel happy and pregnant, just miserable and fat! People didn't know--my own coworkers didn't know--that I was pregnant and not just gaining more weight!!

Riley came on December 29, 2008 and I knew it was the start of a new life for me! No more pregnancies, no more excuses! Time to crack down! Pete left for his second deployment when Riley was 6 weeks old, the same age Peter was when he left for the first one. I was determined to have Pete come home to a brand-new me, one who was NOT heavy! Once again, we both lost weight while apart! Pete had lost a lot of body fat and then packed on another 20-30 lbs in muscle. I got down to 165--the lowest I had been since high school! From following the Abs diet, doing Jari Love dvds, walking and running with the kids in my new double stroller, and starting p90x. This time I was going to make sure I didn't gain any of that weight back just

because Pete was home!! I lost about another 8 lbs! I had never felt so good or confident about myself!!

Now I am proud to say I am in the best shape of my life. I have gotten back up to 165 but I am stronger and faster and better at all areas of my personal fitness than I've ever been! I am hoping to complete several fitness milestones in the next five years, and be able to ring in my 10th anniversary with my hard-earned dream body!
Thursday, September 2, 2010 | By: Tangy

Don't quit your dayjob!

Not to toot my own horn, but I know my way around the kitchen. I can make some pretty delicious dishes, both clean and VERY un-clean. I've enjoyed cooking ever since I've gotten out on my own, and I get all geeky goofy excited when I discover a new kitchen gadget that can somehow make my culinary life easier!

Over the past couple of months, I have been going on a clean cooking and baking spree! I have been loving trying out new recipes and making up my own! Off the top of my head, some of the things I have made- blueberry-corn muffins, banana bread, fruit-filled muffins, pancakes, peanut-tahini pasta, fajitas, baby bella/potato omlettes, tomato-basil soup, cornbread, danish meatballs, and apple crisp. I know there are many more but you get the picture!

There's only one problem. I have been the only one who has liked everything!! My 20 month old daughter is my harshest critic! If she likes something, I'll hear "mmm mmm mmm" sounds coming from her highchair and she'll have this big grin plastered on her face while she's eating. If she doesn't like something? Oh, she'll get MAD! She'll just toss the food off her tray and scream, "YUCKY! EWWW!" I have been getting a lot of the ladder lately! It's been a bit of an ego kill!

Take this. This is my clean-eating danish meatballs over brown rice. We aren't normally rice eaters here, mostly because my only exposure to rice thus far has been broccoli au gratin Rice a Roni, fried rice from Panda Express, and Mexican rice served along side a heaping pile of greasy refried beans at one of the zillion Mexican restaurants we tried while living in Texas. The rice had a surprisingly good flavor, the turkey meatballs were delish, and the white dill sauce was unlike anything I've ever tried before! It was so good! And healthy! But of course, my little princess had her plate thrown on the floor before I had even served the other kids. Tell me how you really feel, Riley! Sheesh! I'm sure the dog enjoyed it!
Another obsession of mine lately has been sweet potato fries.

I feel like they are my gift from God!! A veggie-haters dream! I am not much of a fan of baked sweet potatoes or that nasty Thanksgiving dish with the big chunks of canned potatoes covered in butter, sugar, and marshmellows. It hasn't ever tasted good to me, aside from stealing a burnt marshmellow or two. These are so simple to make and I could eat them three times a day, they are THAT good! I slice them up, toss them VERY lightly in olive or canola oil, and sprinkle them with a bunch of cinnamon. Then I bake 'em for about 30 minutes at 450*, turning at least once. They get a little burnt and crispy on the edges and it is seriously my new favorite food! Of course, my husband and I are the only ones in the house who will eat them. Neither of the kids will touch them! Give them those salty, greasy fast-food fries, and they'll gobble those right up. Ugh.
With fall approaching, I feel the need to bake. One of my all-time favorites has been my mom's apple crisp. The original recipe calls for about a cup of sugar, plus a bunch of butter and white flour. I LOVE the sugar/butter/flour combo but my waistline does not!! So I decided to try making my own version. I put a little olive oil in a pan and then added some whole wheat pastry flour until it got crumbly. Then I just started adding stuff. I added some agave--about a teaspoon or two, plus wheat germ, flax, and chopped walnuts. I cut up 6 granny smith apples and put them in my baking dish and sprinkled them with apple pie spice and drizzled a little honey over that. Then I put on my crumbly topping and baked it at 400* for an hour.
I served it with the sweet potato fries and some grilled chicken.

Unfortunately, the apple crisp just didn't measure up. It was good, but just not quite the same thing. It was only "take one" of many so I am confident that one of these days I'll either get it right or I will just get used to the clean version tasting a bit different. And it tasted much better the second day when it was a little cooler. I've always liked my apple dishes at room temp or cold, never hot. I'm weird ;)
I'm still super frustrated that my kids do not enjoy much of the clean dishes I've made for them. They prefer boxed macaroni and cheese and commercial chicken nuggets and hot dogs. While I don't know if they will ever completely stop getting these things, I still have hope that they will start to get a taste for the wholesome foods I make for them! They really love the banana bread and pancakes I make and surprisingly one of their favorite things are ww tortillas with my homemade clean-seasoned refried beans, cheese, and chicken. They love to snack on string cheese and fresh fruit like apples, pineapples, strawberries, and grapes. I think they'd rather have fruit than any other kind of snack, which is always a "proud-mommy" moment for me! And I think I've gotten Peter hooked on a big spoon of peanut butter for a mid-afternoon snack. So even if they haven't liked 90% of the things I've made for them lately, they ARE making some healthy decisions every single day. And I am definitely not finished trying out new recipes and improvising as I go, so I have hope that one day I will get Riley's "nommmm mmmm" seal of approval!

Monday, August 30, 2010 | By: Tangy

t-minus 26 days!!

Today was my first day of no cheating, a while. I really was good today! I never felt deprived or hungry and I hope the rest of the month is just as good! I hope I didn't overdo the carbs, as usual, but I really did try to watch them! According to, I ate 1792 cals, 115.7 g protein, 58.7 g fat, and 206.7 g carbs. My nutrient ratio was 45:26:29 instead of 40:30:30. Close, but I will try to do better tomorrow!! I am proud that I didn't do any mindless snacking today which I can contribute to staying busy! Today just flew by for me. I think keeping my mind occupied is really going to be a key factor in my weight loss! Today I kept the downstairs of my house mostly picked up all day and I did some online window-shopping for fall and winter clothes for the kids. If I had an extra $300 laying around right now, they'd be the most styling kids in town!

Here's what I ate today:

Breakfast- baked chicken breast with italian seasoning (leftover, cold straight from the fridge!)

snack- smoothie with whey, flax, spinach, rice milk, and golden fruit blend

lunch- 2 slices of ezekial, toasted with 1 tbsp all-nat pb and 1 tsp raspberry preserves

snack- 1 cup rice milk with 1 scoop chocolate whey, 1/2 apple with 1 tbsp pb

dinner- 6 of the crispy chicken bites (tosca recipe) and 1.5 sweet potatoes--cut up and very very lightly tossed in olive oil and sprinkled with lots of cinnamon. where I went wrong with my carbs! I sliced up 2 sweet potatoes into fries and I ate damn near the whole pan of them!! I didn't miss the sugar at all that I usually put on and I could have eaten another whole tray of them! gosh they are good!

Today's workout- p90x arms and shoulders with ab ripper x--probably my very favorite p90x workout!! I love doing arms and it was straight lifting today, no pushups or pullups! I was going to take my dog out for a run (I arranged for my mom to stop over every night this week so I could take the dog out since Pete is gone) but when my mom got here I had *just* taken my dinner out of the oven so I had to just do a brisk walk! We walked for 30 minutes, so I'm guessing around 2 miles. Not something I'd count as a workout but it was out and moving nonetheless!

Tomorrow I would like for my eating to be as good as today or better and I have yoga and as always my goal is to get through as much of it as possible--last time I did 45 min so maybe this time I can shoot for a whole hour! The yoga x workout is a crazy 90 minutes long!
Sunday, August 29, 2010 | By: Tangy


Friday night I went out without Pete or the kids to do something other than grocery shopping or going to a doctor's appointment for the first time...ever! Really! I do not get out much! lol I was in a hurry to get my kids and my house ready for my mother in law to come over to babysit and I ordered them a pizza and breadsticks. **smacks forehead** Of course my biggest weakness, over all other things, is pizza, and I had 3 pieces. Not horrible, but still. Then I made myself a yummy frozen mixed drink-- simply lemonade, bicardi razz, frozen raspberries, and of course lots of ice! It was sooo good and I took it with me to go play Bunco for the first time.

I was good at Bunco other than my big drink...there was spinach dip and alfredo dip and bread and crackers and some kind of oreo-pudding dessert and I can proudly say I did not try even one bite of any of that stuff! I had a good time playing even though my anxiety level was through the roof and I felt like the new kid in school. Of course, I was the night's big loser with only 2 wins and 14 losses! haha. I have never had good luck. I won a prize for being the biggest loser--a bottle of wine! I haven't opened it yet but I think I will keep it tucked away for my sister's wedding.

My husband and I got home about the same time on Friday night and I had a big surprise for him--no kids! My mother in law had decided to keep them at her house overnight so we had a kid-free night that started at midnight. We were both exhausted and there is zero midnight entertainment in this town besides the bar so we stayed up and talked and ate ice cream and slept in til 10:30 on Saturday morning! Needless to say, after my night of pizza and booze, I felt like CRAP when I woke up. Total crap. My eyes were burning from my allergies, too. The icing on the cake was that good ole Aunt Flo had also decided to show up that morning. Thank you mother nature!! F#*& you too! Oh- and I had a wedding shower to go to and I had my first fitting for my bridesmaids dress for my sister's wedding.

I had tried on a size 10 dress the last week of April and it fit me perfectly. I was of course hoping to be in a 6 or an 8 by September. ha. When they "officially" measured me in July they suggested I get a size 12 and I told them to shove it (not in those words of course hehe) and ordered the 10. Yesterday, I could not zip it up. I am really hoping it was just from the bloating--I weighed in at a whopping 169 yesterday!! gahhh! So I really do not have the time to go to the tailor's and get it altered and then go pick it up a different day. I just don't. Not to mention I don't want to spend any more money than I've already had to spend for this wedding--I think I have spent almost as much as I did on my own wedding! And I want to just have the satisfaction of knowing I am no size 12. Pffft.

I have always worked better under pressure and I'm hoping this time is no different! I was infamous (to myself at least) for writing all my college English papers with less than 3 hours to spare and still getting an A on every single one so if I can do that, I can lose some pesky poundage and extra inches to fit into this dress!! My gameplan is to cut down my starchy carbs by a LOT--once a day, and eat more veggies and proteins and even start cutting down on my fruit. I know my problem isn't with my workouts which have been good and consistent so I will just keep up with those. I am really hoping this works! Wish me luck!
Thursday, August 26, 2010 | By: Tangy

ABSolutely fABulous

Week 1 photo. The first of many weeks to come! (excuse my dirty mirror and redneck workout room!) ps- for those who have less-than-perfect tummies, ie. stretch marks--I recommend the cell phone pic! Less detail=good thing. I wish my abs looked so nice up-close and personal ;)

Okay, let's face is all about the abs. I can track my progress all I want and weigh and measure until I am blue in the face but until I lose this muffin-top and get the rock-hard abs I want, I will not be finished with my weight-loss journey. Can you see my little 4-pack in my upper abs?!?! Is it just me or IS IT THERE?!

One day, these darn lower abs WILL match the upper abs! I will be combating this with my clean eating and adding some more intense cardio--running intervals for now!

So today is the big day. Time to see if I have lost anything! Drumroll please...

Today's weight-- 166. psssssshhhhhhtttt. Oddly enough, I am not discouraged by this. I have come up with a number of possible scenarios for this bizzare number.

#1- my weight last week was not accurate. Highly possible on this scale. I got a different number depending on where I put it in my house but 166 was the most occuring number today. Or this week's number is wrong.

#2- I have a muscle gain

#3- I am still retaining water from Wednesday's salty pizza and am still bloated from this week's pinto bean kick.

#4- I really did gain 2 lbs from my poor eating.

All are possible explanations. I also measured today. Here is a side-by-side comparison of today vs July 13 vs June 1 2009 (I cannot find my complete list of measurements from 09 but you can really see how much I've lost since last year!)

Today/ July 13/June 1(last year)

weight- 166 165 180

bust- 36 37 x

chest- 32 33 36

waist- 30 31 39

tummy- 37 38.5 x

hips- 39 40 47

thighs- 23 24.5 25
arms- 11 12 x

I may not have lost any weight (or maybe I did...who knows!) but I have been steadily losing inches which is what counts!! I'm not sure what a good measurement for my lower abs would be. I'm shooting for 34 or less by my birthday on October 26. I saw on the news last night that the average American woman's waistline is 37 inches!! WOW! We have a major problem in this country! I'm really not surprised.

I started off today with my usual coffee and a smoothie. Today's fruit was Schwan's golden fruit blend. It's my all-time favorite kind of smoothie. Like a big ole glass of summer!
Lunch will be a chicken/lettuce/honey mustard/cheese wrap and some apple slices with peanut butter. I'll have another smoothie for a snack and dinner will be more spaghetti! I'll be getting my drink on later tonight--one glass worth since I'm a lightweight! I am thinking Bicardi Razz with some lemonade and frozen raspberries and ice all blended up! One drink once a month can't be too bad, right?!?!
Today's workout was a 5-mile run. I was hoping to finally break my distance barrier of 8 miles but 2 miles into my run I knew it wasn't going to happen today! I had to stop after mile 2 for a walking water break and then again after mile 3 and I started to run again and ran about half of mile 4 when I had to stop--OMG those damn pinto beans have me running to the bathroom 6x a day!!! I had to walk and squeeze!! hahahaha The feeling finally passed and I decided mile 5 should be intervals...2 minutes hard, 1 minute easy. I made it 90 seconds into the first one and I felt like I was gonna die!! I don't know what is wrong with me today--I should have no problems running 5 miles on a nice day without the stroller. I'll just chalk it up as an off day and hope for a better run next time on Sunday! Right after my run, I grabbed some more water and a chocolate-coconut larabar for some much-needed fuel and then did p90x arms and back with ab ripper x. Made it through that just fine and I could even notice a difference in my strength!!! I was cranking out the pushups like I've never done before aaaannnnndddd I can finally do the military-style ones!! I still have to be on my knees for those kind (all toes for the other kinds!) but I never even had the strength before to go all the way down and come back up and today I could!!! BIG milestone for me! I wasn't able to do the diamond pushups or the dive-bombers--I am still having some kind of issue with my hip flexor (I think that is what is hurting, anyway) on my left side. It bugs the CRAP out of me while I'm running and I can't do any wide-leg pushups or exercises because it hurts so bad!! I hope with time it will stop hurting! I tried to exaggerate my stride today to fully stretch out my legs and I think that helped me get through my run. Oh and I weighed again after my workouts and subsequent trips to the bathroom and I was at 164. So maybe by tonight I'll hit 162! LOL
Tomorrow will be plyo so I will take the day off from running unless I feel really really good tomorrow night! I have another wedding shower, this one at a really yummy Italian restaurant....hello starchy carb city! I just want to get through the day and not hate myself. I won't beat myself up but I want to come with a full stomach and healthy snack in-hand and have plenty of water to drink! I'll keep it simple since tomorrow is Saturday :)

and one last look at this tummy....GOOD BYE!!!!

p90x week 1: completed!

After a much-needed reality check I think I have my head and my heart in the right place again. I'm not sure why I get in such low funks sometimes and why I am so hard on myself! I am so anxious about tomorrow's weigh-in! I know I've done a good job with my workouts this week but my eating is still not where it needs to be--but I hope it is enough to see a change on the scale! Besides the two times I have had pizza, my other food has been good and clean.

Today's breakfast was a smoothie with strawberry and peaches as my fruits. I had a slice of fresh out of the oven, warm banana bread (clean recipe!) for my midmorning snack. And some fresh pineapple--I finally cut my first pineapple and it was so easy with my new sharp knive (thanks mom!) and just soo delicious and refreshing! Lunch was 2 ww tortillas spread thick with refried beans, 1/2 chicken breast (1/4 each tortilla), and cheese. Very yummy and filling! I made the kids cheese pizzas on ww english muffins and the boys even asked for seconds. I would like to start phasing my kids to eating as clean as I do!

I ate a late lunch so I wasn't very hungry for an afternoon snack but I had cut up two apples for the boys with some peanut butter so I had two slices with pb also. Dinner was Ronzoni Healthy Harvest pasta with spaghetti sauce and it really hit the spot! Today is my rest day and my body really appreciates that!

Tomorrow I will update with my weigh-in and hopefully get some running done besides my p90x! And it WILL be a good eating day!@
Wednesday, August 25, 2010 | By: Tangy

Life takes over

Sometimes I feel like I am destined to be fat forever. I will do so well and then I will just impulsively do the most stupid things! I have done pretty well so far with my endeavor and maybe it is just my inner pessimist but I feel like I am not doing enough and I won't see any pounds or inches lost this Friday when I weigh and measure next. And it's only Wednesday! I don't know why I have these feelings. I have been overweight ever since I can remember and I guess I still think like a fat girl. It's a huge challenge for me to look at my body and be happy. I do realize now that I am at least on the high (or very high) range for a "normal weight" person and while that is a big step for me, all I can see is flaws. I don't think I am being too hard on myself or unrealistic. I am working harder than I've ever worked in my whole life to eat healthy and I've never pushed myself further during exercise but I know I can still do better. I want to run a marathon. I want to do 10 pullups without breaking a sweat. I want to have amazing legs and arms and abs. Can I get there on my current path?? I don't know. And the thought of what I have to do to get there can be overwhelming at times and when I get overwhelmed, I tend to shut down and make stupid, rash, impulsive decisions.

Like today. I noticed Riley wasn't her normal, cheery, happiest-girl-in-the-world usual self this afternoon. She felt really hot last night (she ends up in our bed with us at least 4 nights a week) but she was perfectly happy all morning and played at the park with her normal enthusiasm. After lunch, we were outside enjoying the perfect weather and she was unusually clingy, and then she threw up all over. Poor thing. She went down for a second nap--also very rare for her--and when I got her up at 5:30 she still wasn't feeling well. I blew off kenpo today because I had decided I'd rather take the kids out for a run tonight and enjoy the weather while building up my running endurance some more. I don't feel comfortable doing that now...sick kid + bouncy stroller= disaster! So I may end up doing kenpo after all tonight.

But back to my stupidity...I didn't plan anything for dinner because we were outside all day. And for some reason Riley being sick was also my excuse not to do any cooking. Which makes no sense. I went to the local grocery store (read: SMALLEST store you've ever seen--I've been in bigger gas stations than our grocery store) and saw the Coke in the cooler and instantly craved it and I put a 2 liter of it in my cart! I KNEW it was stupid and bad for me! And then I got some frozen pizza for dinner. I want to hang my head in shame. Being prepared seems to be my biggest weakness.

I feel like my life has been so stressful and chaotic that I haven't been able to fully focus or concentrate on anything for at least five years. I feel so unorganized and un-scheduled and it really interferes with all aspects of my life! Especially when it comes to taking care of myself. Sometimes I just want to pick the easiest way out like I did today and it's those kinds of choices that I make that really make me wonder if I'll ever be able to finally lose this weight.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010 | By: Tangy
Another great day for me! I am feeling so good these days physically! I started my day off with my usual coffee and smoothie. I also had 2 scrambled eggs and a slice of ww banana bread (recipe found under ww banana bread on Not all at once, of course, but between the hours of 7 and 1.

I had p90x legs and back for my afternoon workout. For some reason I just wasn't into the workout today and I don't feel like I got a whole lot out of it. I did, however, really notice how my abs are getting more defined--not so much slimmer yet, though.

Lunch was leftovers from last night's dinner. A ww tortilla spread thick with my homemade refried beans, about 1/4 cut up grilled chicken breast, and a little sharp cheddar cheese, all warmed up in the microwave. Super easy and filling! I'm not going to lie, though, I was craving Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby ice cream like crazy this's been months and months since I've had any but that craving just HIT me! I settled for a big spoonful of crunchy peanut butter with a little squirt of Hershey's syrup...definitely not clean but it took care of my craving!

I had a big bag of tomatoes my mom had dropped off for me. It had been sitting in my kitchen at least a week and I kept thinking, "I NEED to do something with these" but I never did and I was beginning to think they were all just going to go bad because I just had not made the initiative! During p90x, Tony has you "call out your soup" when doing a particular stretch. His soup was tomato basil. That made me think, hmmm...I have tomatoes, I have basil (leftover from when I made pesto--about 2 cups worth) and I've been wanting some good, healthy soup, so I decided to make some! I had no idea how to go about this but I just gave it a whirl and you know what, it turned out great! I took a lot of tomatoes--some regular size, some roma, and threw them in boiling water for about a minute and then rinsed them right away in cold water. They peeled so easily after that--thank you Mandie for the heads up! Then I put my tomatoes and basil (minus the stems) in my blender and hit puree and it blended it all up! I transfered it back to the big pot on the stove, added some chicken broth, milk, and 1/2 tsp sea salt and let it simmer for a while. That's it! It was soo good!

Then I was trying to think of something to go with my soup and I remembered seeing a recipe for clean corn bread from I made a few substitutions for ingredients I didn't have but otherwise followed the recipe--and wow! It was the best cornbread I've ever had. So tasty! I love that it has a cup of frozen corn in it! So my cornbread, with my soup, was just such a great summer supper!

Tonight I took my dog out for a run...we ran about 2 miles and walked one more. Overall, I'm happy with today although now I see I may have had too many carbs for one day so I will be extra cautious for the next couple of days. Tomorrow I'd like to do some more baking and finish my first week (again x6 lol) of p90x. Another run would be a bonus, too :)
Whew, I was up too last last night to update so I'll do it now! I have been cooking like crazy and I plan on cooking and baking for the rest of the week! Yesterday I started off my day with a smoothie--spinach, rice milk, whey, flax, a banana, and frozen strawberries.

Then I had a handful of pecans. I have been wanting to make some homemade onion-free salsa since I am an onion-hater. I finally did yesterday! I put in 1 jalepeno pepper, 2 green peppers, 4 tomatoes, 3 cloves of garlic,about a half cup of fresh cilantro, 2 tbsp lime juice, and 1/2 tsp each cumin, sea salt, and pepper.
Then it was off to the fridge to let the flavors blend in time for dinner! I had a bag of pinto beans soaking so I could make homemade refried beans to go with our Mexican-themed dinner. For lunch I was trying to think of something fun and healthy to make the kids. I had some Barilla Plus bow-tie pasta which is just a really fun shape for kids...and for me, too! I had made some fresh pesto a couple days ago so I heated some of that up in the pan after I had cooked the noodles, then tossed it with the noodles and added some cut-up grilled chicken breast. Here's my little munchkin enjoying it!

and my portion

When the beans were done soaking, I drained and rinsed them and filled them back up and let them boil for about 2 hours. I added cumin, paprika, pepper, sea salt, garlic powder, onion powder, and cayenne pepper. I added those same spices to my thawed chicken breasts before grilling them and we had chicken/bean/cheese quesadillas with the homemade fresh salsa and a little sour cream--mostly for Pete and the kids. They were a hit! So tasty!
We were all in the mood for a little dessert after the hot day so I made the banana ice cream once again, with 4 frozen bananas, 1 cup milk, 2 tbsp agave, and 2 tbsp cocoa powder.

Yesterday's workout was yoga. It felt good to have an easy day after 4 hard days and it really helped stretch out all my tight leg muscles! My goals for today are to do p90x legs and back (which is done now!) and to go running and continue to eat clean.

Sunday, August 22, 2010 | By: Tangy

Shower Time!

Today was a great workout day! I got up and went running! I wanted to finally see if I could break my distance barrier of 8 miles. I knew after mile 4 that it was just not going to happen today! I was ready to stop running already. I made myself do 6. Mile 5 was all downhill so that felt really nice and I was still a mile away from home so I had no choice but to get that last mile in. I was disappointed but I guess my body was still tired from yesterday! It's been quite a while since I ran anything over 3 miles! I burned only 630 calories on my run today but my time was 6 minutes faster than yesterday, right at 57:03. Just goes to show that the stroller may slow me down, but it sure is a calorie-burner! I'll try to keep that in mind the next time I need to run and I don't really want to take the kids with me! Tomorrow, however, will be a day off from running and I will only be doing p90x yoga. I did 40 minutes of p90x arms and shoulders today before I had to stop and chase after the kids. Pete was mowing and I had to keep them away from the mower and away from the street. Pre-run I ate a slice of Ezekial toast with Smucker's all-natural peanut butter and after I had finished with the strength training I had 3 whole scrambled eggs with pepper and paprika.

Then my trouble started. I had to get ready for my sister's wedding shower at 2 and I fully intended on making myself a smoothie for lunch right before but time just slipped away and before I knew it my mom was outside waiting for me. Luckily, there was fresh fruit there! I loaded up with strawberries, pineapple, blueberries, honeydew, and cantelope. Unfortunately I couldn't get as much as I would have liked ;) I had 1/2 slice of jello cake that did not taste good whatsoever--it tasted fake and sugary! Amazing how my tastes have changed! I also did not bring my water bottle I had ready-to-go at home so I had a small glass of punch that was also just LOADED with sugar! yuck! But it was a great shower and my sister got a lot of great things for her apartment! Since no one else was taking any photos, I nominated myself designated photo-taker and took a lot of random pictures there!

Here's Amber and I

and then me with all 3 of my sisters

Then right after the shower I took the kids over to see my family at my grandparents' house...and still did not eat anything! 5:30 came around and I was feeling pretty famished! They ordered pizza and I devoured 3 pieces! I felt awful but I was so hungry! Ugh! Today was just not a day where I was prepared. Tomorrow will be better! Goals for tomorrow: sincerely attempt to do all 90 minutes of p90x yoga and not skip any meals and finally get my baking done!
Saturday, August 21, 2010 | By: Tangy

Day 2

Today had another great start!! My husband had to leave early for work for his last day at his current job (yay!) so I had no choice but to load them up and take them with me running this morning. The weather was almost perfect--about 75* but humid, a nice breeze, overcast and not too sunny! I felt great during my run! I decided I was going to go for distance so I was at a 10 minute pace, hoping I would make it 10 miles today! I took my long 6-mile loop around town and out in the country and for the last 4 I was going to go weave in between my other route--kind of hard to explain--but it required me to run right past our house right after the 6 mile mark. Mistake. The kids saw home and got so excited--they had been in the stroller for the past hour, afterall, and they just got out of hand when I kept on running past, so I stopped and walked around the block for my cooldown, with my son throwing a temper tantrum the whole time. Ugh. I hope 4 is going to be an easier year than 3 for us! But I am glad I at least got an hour of running in today. I burned 800 calories and I've never had a better 6-miler than today as far as quality of the run. I've run it much faster before but today was just great.

I had to shower and run errands after the run and I didn't get around to making lunch til 2 this afternoon. I was HUNGRY! I did munch on a tiny triangle corner of cold pizza before I went running but that was all I'd had all day. I made Tosca's Crispy Chicken Bites from and I cut up 3 sweet potatoes into fries and tossed them lightly with olive oil, a few sprinkles of organic raw cane sugar, and a ton of cinnamon. I baked them at 450* for about 25 minutes--delicious! I keep making them healthier and healthier every time. I used to make them with butter. Next time I will try omitting the sugar so they are truly Clean!

I was still stuffed from my lunch at 7:00! I might have had a bit too many of the fries! I could not stop eating them but I figured, hey, they're veggies! LOL I definitely ate at least half of them all to myself. I will definitely start making them at least once a week. I had 5 of the chicken bites; one serving was 4. My late dinner was a smoothie. It had my usuals--spinach, rice milk, flax, and whey, and this time I put in a banana and a tbsp of cocoa powder. Riley really enjoyed it, too!

I was planning on doing plyo tonight...honestly, I am pooped!! I just want to hit the sack early and see if I can get up early for a solo run--maybe get a new distance PR! And if I did plyo then I'd have to eat again and I don't feel like cooking! haha

Tomorrow's goals-- eat clean, get in a good run (or bike ride if I'm too stiff) and do p90x arms and shoulders. Do some clean baking for my family--banana bread, pancakes, muffins--and maybe even make salsa and spaghetti sauce.

on a side note--I cannot ever get this page to load correctly and it isn't letting me upload pictures!! Anyone more internet savvy than me who knows how to fix this??
Friday, August 20, 2010 | By: Tangy

Day 1

Today started off great. I woke up at the unholy hour of 6am and went running with my dog Clark. I started off walking but Clark wasn't having any of that. We ran 3.5 miles and I'm glad I had him there to make me do it. It's funny how Clark is merely power walking while I am running at my distance pace.

Fridays are my official weigh-in days and today's weight: 164.4. A HUGE sigh of relief this morning. All week I had been coming in at 166. I will never let myself get over 165 again. Next week I really would like to see 162!! I'm going to add in all the extra cardio I can to melt this fat off!

Breakfast was 2 scrambled eggs, with a sprinkle of paprika. And my coffee, of course. I always drink two cups sweetened with a little agave, a teaspoon of cocoa powder, and a little half and half. I know, I should be using rice milk or almond milk, but it just doesn't taste the same.

I had a smoothie for my morning snack. 2 big handfuls of fresh baby spinach, a handful of fresh pineapple, a cup of rice milk, a scoop of vanilla whey, 2 tbsp ground flax, and frozen strawberries and peaches. So yummy. As usual, the kids were immediately asking me if they could have a drink. I don't think I've ever gotten a whole smoothie to myself.

My mom brought me some fresh organic basil yesterday so today I made pesto! I was going through some old food journals when I came across one of my old favorites that I had somehow forgotten--a chicken pesto panini. I had some chicken thawing in the fridge so I took it and sprinkled it with pepper, garlic powder, paprika, and a little sea salt and thew it on the Foreman grill. I sliced up 4 potatoes into fries and seasoned them the same way as the chicken, and lightly tossed them with olive oil. I baked them at 450* for about 40 minutes, flipping them three times. I don't know why anyone would want to buy a bag of frozen fries when you can buy a big bag of potatoes for $5 and make your own fries and have them taste a million times better! I gave the kids the grilled chicken and homemade fries along with some grapes for lunch. My sandwich was on two slices of Ezekial bread. I smeared on a good amount of pesto on the bottom slice, topped that with 1/2 of a cut-up chicken breast, then put on some roasted red peppers, and then about 1/8 cup shredded mozzarella cheese. I cooked it in the Foreman, right after the chicken was done. No need for a fancy panini press. I had some of the fries and a few grapes with my delicious sandwich. I like to have lunch be my biggest meal of the day. I am quite frankly too lazy to get up and cook a big breakfast. Maybe not lazy, but unwilling to wake up even earlier to take Clark out so I'd also have time to cook breakfast by the time Pete leaves at 7:30. So we usually just have eggs and toast and cereal. I like to have my carbs with lunch to fuel me for my afternoon workout and then eat a light dinner at night.

This afternoon I started p90x over again. I hope this is the last time I ever say that. Day one went very well since I am practically a pro at those workouts now. Today's workout was Chest and Back, follwed by Ab Ripper x. I did at least 100 REAL pushups during that hour which I sure couldn't do last November when I started p90x the first time. I almost made it through every single rep of ab ripper x which I never thought I could do. I should be able to do it by the end of the month. I didn't stop early during any of the exercises and I really felt that I pushed myself.

Tonight wasn't exactly a light low-carb dinner. We started a new family tradition, about 3 weeks ago, of ordering pizza on Friday nights. It is the first tradition we've ever done as a family. With our Army lifestyle, nothing could ever be planned and Pete missed birthdays and holidays with us. Then when he first got home, I worked evenings and we never got to eat as a family. Then, he got a job with Schwans and never got home til 10 or later. It's really silly but it makes me feel like a normal family. I know I shouldn't be associating food with family memories, but it is what it is. Friday night is my once a week "cheat" for now. I had four pieces of square pizza, so about the size of 2 slices of an 8-piece frozen pizza. And a cheese-filled breadstick dipped in pizza sauce. I have had days where I ate half of an extra large pizza. Not tonight, not anymore. I can stop now.

I was craving ice cream after dinner so I decided to make some clean banana-based ice cream. I used 1 cup of milk, 4 frozen bananas, 2 tbsp agave, 2 tbsp cocoa powder, and 2 tbsp peanut butter. It was my first time adding peanut butter and it seemed like such a great idea at the time. It didn't really taste so great to me. I'll omit that next time.

All and all, I'd say today was a pretty good day for me. I am trying to not feel guilty of my scheduled Friday indulgence. Tomorrow I'd like to go for a long run--see what kind of distance I am capable of running now. I might take the kids...I'll just have to see what tomorrow brings! And of course, do my p90x workout. Plyometrics. It's a great calorie-burning workout so I should be needing two showers again tomorrow :)
Thursday, August 19, 2010 | By: Tangy

Let's try this again.

I have been bad. Not just a little bad, but B-A-D!! I have been skipping workouts and eating too much junk! And not updating on here at all!! But all of this is about to change :)

I have been slightly obsessed with a certain social networking site for about three and a half years now. Back in the day when I still used Myspace, I noticed an add for a site for moms. I immediately went to check it out and just like that--I was hooked. I was 22 years old. I had recently moved 1000 miles away from my family and friends and life as I knew it to be with my husband Pete at Fort Hood, Texas. Right before our move, I was working two jobs--one at a hospital, one at a pharmacy, and going to school full-time. We got married September 3, 2005, as high school sweethearts and after two years of dating. By the end of September 2005, Pete was gone for Basic Training at Fort Knox and then left for AIT in Maryland. I got to see him twice during this time, once at Basic graduation and then for a week he got off for Christmas. Not your typical newlyweds! Shortly after I rang in 2006 alone, I found out I was pregnant. Then we found out about our orders to go to Fort Hood. We moved to Copperas Cove, Texas, when I was five months pregnant. I tried to find a job right away but no one would hire me. Hmm who would want to hire a big pregnant lady? So for the first time since I was 14 I didn't have a job!! I spent my time reading and eating and watching tv instead of going out and trying to make friends.

On September 12, 2006, our son Peter was born. 9 lbs, 2 oz. Big boy! I was still adjusting to being married and finally getting to be with my husband and living in a new state in an entirely different geographic region with military culture. Then I had a baby to add to the mix! Then, when Peter was only six weeks old, Pete left for his first deployment to Iraq. Here I was, 22, completely alone, with a brand new baby and no familiar faces. I was more than a little overwhelmed. I think I spent the first three days after Pete left just walking around crying. But I couldn't go on like that. I had bills to pay, a small apartment to maintain, and a newborn to take care of. There was no one else to do these things for me or help me out. I had to grow up a lot. My feelings of loneliness were so strong as well as my uncertainty of a first-time mom. So Cafemom felt like a God-sent!

I "met" so many people those first few months of being on that site. I found a local mom's group full of moms just like me--young with little kids who knew what it was like to be a military wife! Score! And so many other kinds of women. I realized I had led a pretty sheltered life up to that time. I made some friendships there in Texas as well as many others from afar. I think it really helped me get through that fifteen month deployment. I finally had support and some adult interaction. I started to feel like Tangy again. It was nice.

Now I'm not writing this to be all nostalgic, and you may be wondering, what the heck does this have to do with my weight loss? Cafemom means so much to me on so many levels. It has been part of my life longer than my daughter has. I have let it get too far. It has become too all-consuming. I care so much about everyone on there and can't wait to see the latest story that I have been putting myself and my family on the back burner. I have to distance myself for a while. I have been spending more time online every day than working out or reading to my kids, and that is a problem. So I am taking a little break. It will KILL me. I will be so tempted to log in real quick on my phone, but I am not even going to do that. I have to spend my time doing other things. Like cleaning so that during naptime I can go workout instead of cleaning up for two hours.

I am going to re-commit myself to working out and eating clean. This is going to be a big challenge for me because I have commitment issues with changing my life. I can't ever seem to stick with anything!! I know I have to change my habits if I want to see any results. Starting tomorrow I will be logging in everything I eat and every workout I do or Don't do. I will learn what works for me and what doesn't by being completely honest with myself. And with whoever else wants to see.

Something important I am going to start doing--setting goals for the next day. Tomorrow's goals: wake up and go running with Clark, clean my house throughout the day, do p90x at naptime, make a clean family meal for dinner, and keep my carb intake in check. I'll be back tomorrow!
Sunday, August 1, 2010 | By: Tangy

30 days- Day 1

I haven't been around much these past couple of weeks. I've been busy stuffing my face and not working out. I gained back the couple of pounds I had lost, bringing me even further away from my goal. While I was eating mostly clean, I was eating too much clean junk food. I am challenging myself to lose weight this month. I hate to put a number on the exact amount I'd like to lose, but 5-10 lbs would be ideal. I am going to start following Jillian Michaels' Making the Cut to help me lose this last bit of weight I've been struggling to lose for over a year now. I'm going to track every bite of food I put in my mouth and be more honest with myself than I've ever been. I don't know why it is so hard to admit to myself that I have been messing up!

I'm also starting my second round of p90x: days 30-60. I know I have not changed much from day one and it kills me I can't take 30 day progress pictures! I *will* be taking day 60 pictures! I am doing p90x doubles and replacing cardio x with either biking or running. I do have alterior motives; besides wanting to shed some pounds and get in the best shape of my life, I have a 5k coming up in two weeks and I am doing a triathlon challenge on Cafemom so I have many fitness goals all at once but I have never been this motivated!

Day 1- Aug 1

breakfast- 1 cup of coffee, 2 eggs, 1 cup Kashi Heart to Heart

snack- didn't happen...we went to church during this time

lunch- was supposed to be a salad with chicken is not cooked! So I had some blue corn chips with roasted red pepper hummus

snack- reheated cup of coffee that I didn't drink with breakfast, 7 kashi heart to heart crackers with laughing cow cheese

snack #2- I was shaking, I was so hungry!!! Was out for a walk with the kiddos, came home and everything was a haze. Had 2 tbsp pb on a graham cracker

dinner- 1.5 grilled chicken breasts, 1 med sweet potato

snack- smoothie with 3/4 cup kefir, 1 cup baby spinach, 1 cup cherries, 1 scoop chocolate whey, 1 tbsp flax

workout- p90x back and biceps with ab ripper x
Tuesday, July 13, 2010 | By: Tangy

Starting stats and a look at where I was in the beginning

This picture was my inspiration to start a new healthy lifestyle. It was taken in April 2009. I think sometimes it takes a picture for you to really realize how you look. I am still not happy but sometimes I just need to take a peek at this and my old numbers to see how far I've come and give myself a little credit.
Stats then:
hips- 47
thighs- 25
I know it's kind of backwards not to have this with my new pictures, but oh well. When I update this, I'll take new pictures and put them next to the old pictures and put all the new measurements together, too. I am really hoping for results!!

July 13, 2010

height- 5'8 1/2"
weight- 165
bust- 37
chest- 33
waist- 31
hips- 40
thighs- 24.5
arms- 12

I am starting to keep track of all my calories in and out on so hopefully it will help me get into the 150s and beyond!
Sunday, July 11, 2010 | By: Tangy

Like a kid in a candy store

Foods no longer in my house!!

my produce for the week! homemade pesto, strawberries, grapes, blueberries, red pepper, sweet potatoes, cherries, apples, spring mix, potatoes, bananas, and I forgot the carrots!

Yesterday was an awesome day. We decided to take our oldest, Peter, out with just mom and dad. We left his younger sister Riley with grandma and grandpa and we headed out! We saw Toy Story 3 in 3-D. It was our first 3-D movie and it was great! It was very cool to see the images popping off the screen and we were almost the only ones in the theater, so Peter's restlessness didn't bother anyone. I don't think he saw much of the movie so we decided not to try to see a movie with him again for at least another year. He just doesn't have the attention span yet at nearly 4 years old.
Since we were just down the street, I asked Pete to stop at the only health food store I know of within a one hour radius of home (just the city we were in was almost an hour drive away! gotta love living in the middle of nowhere surrounded by cornfields!) so I could go take a look around. I ended up with a cart full of stuff! I wish I would have looked around longer since I did not get a chance to look at produce, frozen, bulk, or health and beauty items but here are a few of the things that I bought!

I have yet to find a healthy salad dressing that I like...I hope this one is good!

real raw sugar

Rice milk for either baking, drinking, or coffee!

chocolate almond milk to try in my coffee

organic cornmeal for a recipe I have in mind

nutella....omg one day I will do a post entirely devoted to nutella!

aluminum-free baking powder

whole wheat kind of looks like dog food in this packaging!

organic corn starch for a clean cherry pie recipe I want to try

organic wheat gluten to bake my own bread!

and that's not even close to all of it. I even found some grain-sweetened chocolate chips! A little splurge, but they will be used to make cookies one day! I was just in awe of all the healthy foods I have heard of but have never actually seen! I will have to make the trip there once a month from now on. Just for whatever I can't find at Walmart or Meijer, since it is a lot more expensive!

I got home and immediately started to re-arrange my kitchen. I took everything out of my cabinets and put it all on the kitchen table. I threw out a bunch of things that I didn't use or that were expired or that were just plain un-healthy (see above photos). I put all my new clean baking supplies in a cabinet that previously had misc. kitchen gadgets. Then today I moved onto the fridge! I now have everything organized nicely and I threw away some more bad stuff. I'm going to make it as easy as possible for me to eat clean!