If only my body would match my mind!

I have been feeling really good lately. I rarely have trouble finishing a workout or not being able to get all my reps in--yes it is time for some heavier weights, but I'm also getting so much stronger and my endurance is at an all-time high. It used to be my asthma that would hold me back from a good run or I just was too out of shape to complete something but that's not the case anymore. I CRAVE a good workout. I love to workout til I am tired and sore and I cannot physically do any more of whatever I am doing. And then I'll do that twice a day.

But I think I may have been keeping myself from getting the benefit of these workouts. My joints are constantly sore and I have this pain in my left hip/groin area that isn't going away. It starts really bugging me while I'm running and I just can't run anything further than 5 or 6 miles and I absolutely cannot do any sprint intervals because it hurts to bad when I am running fast. And this is not good for me as a runner to keep running the same distance and speed without changing things up. I'm never going to get any faster this way and I'm never going to build up my distance endurance, either. I'm really not sure what to do about my hip problem. I think I could take a little break from running to see if it gets better, because it doesn't just affect my running. There are other exercises I just cannot do right now, like dive-bombers, one-handed pushups; pretty much anything that requires me to have a wide stance with my legs. It sounds so simple, just STOP running. But it won't be nice outside for much longer and I am just addicted to running!! It feels so good and I look forward to my run every day! But I need this pain to go away! I might try taking a week off of running to see if it feels any better. It will KILL me but I think it must be done.

I've also been frustrated lately with my lack of weight loss! I've been working so hard and being so good with my diet and the scale has shown me NO lovin'! None! Over the weekend I took a break from working out and I ate a little more than usual, and it wasn't clean, and go figure--I have finally started losing again! So my gameplan for this week is no more running, and only one hard workout per day. It just seems like it isn't enough but if that's what will get me to lose, I'll do it!

ABSolutely fABulous

Week 1 photo. The first of many weeks to come! (excuse my dirty mirror and redneck workout room!) ps- for those who have less-than-perfect tummies, ie. stretch marks--I recommend the cell phone pic! Less detail=good thing. I wish my abs looked so nice up-close and personal ;)


Okay, let's face it...it is all about the abs. I can track my progress all I want and weigh and measure until I am blue in the face but until I lose this muffin-top and get the rock-hard abs I want, I will not be finished with my weight-loss journey. Can you see my little 4-pack in my upper abs?!?! Is it just me or IS IT THERE?!

One day, these darn lower abs WILL match the upper abs! I will be combating this with my clean eating and adding some more intense cardio--running intervals for now!

So today is the big day. Time to see if I have lost anything! Drumroll please...

Today's weight-- 166. psssssshhhhhhtttt. Oddly enough, I am not discouraged by this. I have come up with a number of possible scenarios for this bizzare number.

#1- my weight last week was not accurate. Highly possible on this scale. I got a different number depending on where I put it in my house but 166 was the most occuring number today. Or this week's number is wrong.

#2- I have a muscle gain

#3- I am still retaining water from Wednesday's salty pizza and am still bloated from this week's pinto bean kick.

#4- I really did gain 2 lbs from my poor eating.

All are possible explanations. I also measured today. Here is a side-by-side comparison of today vs July 13 vs June 1 2009 (I cannot find my complete list of measurements from 09 but you can really see how much I've lost since last year!)

Today/ July 13/June 1(last year)

weight- 166 165 180

bust- 36 37 x

chest- 32 33 36

waist- 30 31 39

tummy- 37 38.5 x

hips- 39 40 47

thighs- 23 24.5 25

arms- 11 12 x

I may not have lost any weight (or maybe I did...who knows!) but I have been steadily losing inches which is what counts!! I'm not sure what a good measurement for my lower abs would be. I'm shooting for 34 or less by my birthday on October 26. I saw on the news last night that the average American woman's waistline is 37 inches!! WOW! We have a major problem in this country! I'm really not surprised.

I started off today with my usual coffee and a smoothie. Today's fruit was Schwan's golden fruit blend. It's my all-time favorite kind of smoothie. Like a big ole glass of summer!

Lunch will be a chicken/lettuce/honey mustard/cheese wrap and some apple slices with peanut butter. I'll have another smoothie for a snack and dinner will be more spaghetti! I'll be getting my drink on later tonight--one glass worth since I'm a lightweight! I am thinking Bicardi Razz with some lemonade and frozen raspberries and ice all blended up! One drink once a month can't be too bad, right?!?!

Today's workout was a 5-mile run. I was hoping to finally break my distance barrier of 8 miles but 2 miles into my run I knew it wasn't going to happen today! I had to stop after mile 2 for a walking water break and then again after mile 3 and I started to run again and ran about half of mile 4 when I had to stop--OMG those damn pinto beans have me running to the bathroom 6x a day!!! I had to walk and squeeze!! hahahaha The feeling finally passed and I decided mile 5 should be intervals...2 minutes hard, 1 minute easy. I made it 90 seconds into the first one and I felt like I was gonna die!! I don't know what is wrong with me today--I should have no problems running 5 miles on a nice day without the stroller. I'll just chalk it up as an off day and hope for a better run next time on Sunday! Right after my run, I grabbed some more water and a chocolate-coconut larabar for some much-needed fuel and then did p90x arms and back with ab ripper x. Made it through that just fine and I could even notice a difference in my strength!!! I was cranking out the pushups like I've never done before aaaannnnndddd I can finally do the military-style ones!! I still have to be on my knees for those kind (all toes for the other kinds!) but I never even had the strength before to go all the way down and come back up and today I could!!! BIG milestone for me! I wasn't able to do the diamond pushups or the dive-bombers--I am still having some kind of issue with my hip flexor (I think that is what is hurting, anyway) on my left side. It bugs the CRAP out of me while I'm running and I can't do any wide-leg pushups or exercises because it hurts so bad!! I hope with time it will stop hurting! I tried to exaggerate my stride today to fully stretch out my legs and I think that helped me get through my run. Oh and I weighed again after my workouts and subsequent trips to the bathroom and I was at 164. So maybe by tonight I'll hit 162! LOL

Tomorrow will be plyo so I will take the day off from running unless I feel really really good tomorrow night! I have another wedding shower, this one at a really yummy Italian restaurant....hello starchy carb city! I just want to get through the day and not hate myself. I won't beat myself up but I want to come with a full stomach and healthy snack in-hand and have plenty of water to drink! I'll keep it simple since tomorrow is Saturday :)

and one last look at this tummy....GOOD BYE!!!!

Day 2

Today had another great start!! My husband had to leave early for work for his last day at his current job (yay!) so I had no choice but to load them up and take them with me running this morning. The weather was almost perfect--about 75* but humid, a nice breeze, overcast and not too sunny! I felt great during my run! I decided I was going to go for distance so I was at a 10 minute pace, hoping I would make it 10 miles today! I took my long 6-mile loop around town and out in the country and for the last 4 I was going to go weave in between my other route--kind of hard to explain--but it required me to run right past our house right after the 6 mile mark. Mistake. The kids saw home and got so excited--they had been in the stroller for the past hour, afterall, and they just got out of hand when I kept on running past, so I stopped and walked around the block for my cooldown, with my son throwing a temper tantrum the whole time. Ugh. I hope 4 is going to be an easier year than 3 for us! But I am glad I at least got an hour of running in today. I burned 800 calories and I've never had a better 6-miler than today as far as quality of the run. I've run it much faster before but today was just great.

I had to shower and run errands after the run and I didn't get around to making lunch til 2 this afternoon. I was HUNGRY! I did munch on a tiny triangle corner of cold pizza before I went running but that was all I'd had all day. I made Tosca's Crispy Chicken Bites from http://www.eatcleandiet.com/ and I cut up 3 sweet potatoes into fries and tossed them lightly with olive oil, a few sprinkles of organic raw cane sugar, and a ton of cinnamon. I baked them at 450* for about 25 minutes--delicious! I keep making them healthier and healthier every time. I used to make them with butter. Next time I will try omitting the sugar so they are truly Clean!

I was still stuffed from my lunch at 7:00! I might have had a bit too many of the fries! I could not stop eating them but I figured, hey, they're veggies! LOL I definitely ate at least half of them all to myself. I will definitely start making them at least once a week. I had 5 of the chicken bites; one serving was 4. My late dinner was a smoothie. It had my usuals--spinach, rice milk, flax, and whey, and this time I put in a banana and a tbsp of cocoa powder. Riley really enjoyed it, too!

I was planning on doing plyo tonight...honestly, I am pooped!! I just want to hit the sack early and see if I can get up early for a solo run--maybe get a new distance PR! And if I did plyo then I'd have to eat again and I don't feel like cooking! haha

Tomorrow's goals-- eat clean, get in a good run (or bike ride if I'm too stiff) and do p90x arms and shoulders. Do some clean baking for my family--banana bread, pancakes, muffins--and maybe even make salsa and spaghetti sauce.

on a side note--I cannot ever get this page to load correctly and it isn't letting me upload pictures!! Anyone more internet savvy than me who knows how to fix this??

Day 1

Today started off great. I woke up at the unholy hour of 6am and went running with my dog Clark. I started off walking but Clark wasn't having any of that. We ran 3.5 miles and I'm glad I had him there to make me do it. It's funny how Clark is merely power walking while I am running at my distance pace.

Fridays are my official weigh-in days and today's weight: 164.4. A HUGE sigh of relief this morning. All week I had been coming in at 166. I will never let myself get over 165 again. Next week I really would like to see 162!! I'm going to add in all the extra cardio I can to melt this fat off!

Breakfast was 2 scrambled eggs, with a sprinkle of paprika. And my coffee, of course. I always drink two cups sweetened with a little agave, a teaspoon of cocoa powder, and a little half and half. I know, I should be using rice milk or almond milk, but it just doesn't taste the same.

I had a smoothie for my morning snack. 2 big handfuls of fresh baby spinach, a handful of fresh pineapple, a cup of rice milk, a scoop of vanilla whey, 2 tbsp ground flax, and frozen strawberries and peaches. So yummy. As usual, the kids were immediately asking me if they could have a drink. I don't think I've ever gotten a whole smoothie to myself.

My mom brought me some fresh organic basil yesterday so today I made pesto! I was going through some old food journals when I came across one of my old favorites that I had somehow forgotten--a chicken pesto panini. I had some chicken thawing in the fridge so I took it and sprinkled it with pepper, garlic powder, paprika, and a little sea salt and thew it on the Foreman grill. I sliced up 4 potatoes into fries and seasoned them the same way as the chicken, and lightly tossed them with olive oil. I baked them at 450* for about 40 minutes, flipping them three times. I don't know why anyone would want to buy a bag of frozen fries when you can buy a big bag of potatoes for $5 and make your own fries and have them taste a million times better! I gave the kids the grilled chicken and homemade fries along with some grapes for lunch. My sandwich was on two slices of Ezekial bread. I smeared on a good amount of pesto on the bottom slice, topped that with 1/2 of a cut-up chicken breast, then put on some roasted red peppers, and then about 1/8 cup shredded mozzarella cheese. I cooked it in the Foreman, right after the chicken was done. No need for a fancy panini press. I had some of the fries and a few grapes with my delicious sandwich. I like to have lunch be my biggest meal of the day. I am quite frankly too lazy to get up and cook a big breakfast. Maybe not lazy, but unwilling to wake up even earlier to take Clark out so I'd also have time to cook breakfast by the time Pete leaves at 7:30. So we usually just have eggs and toast and cereal. I like to have my carbs with lunch to fuel me for my afternoon workout and then eat a light dinner at night.

This afternoon I started p90x over again. I hope this is the last time I ever say that. Day one went very well since I am practically a pro at those workouts now. Today's workout was Chest and Back, follwed by Ab Ripper x. I did at least 100 REAL pushups during that hour which I sure couldn't do last November when I started p90x the first time. I almost made it through every single rep of ab ripper x which I never thought I could do. I should be able to do it by the end of the month. I didn't stop early during any of the exercises and I really felt that I pushed myself.

Tonight wasn't exactly a light low-carb dinner. We started a new family tradition, about 3 weeks ago, of ordering pizza on Friday nights. It is the first tradition we've ever done as a family. With our Army lifestyle, nothing could ever be planned and Pete missed birthdays and holidays with us. Then when he first got home, I worked evenings and we never got to eat as a family. Then, he got a job with Schwans and never got home til 10 or later. It's really silly but it makes me feel like a normal family. I know I shouldn't be associating food with family memories, but it is what it is. Friday night is my once a week "cheat" for now. I had four pieces of square pizza, so about the size of 2 slices of an 8-piece frozen pizza. And a cheese-filled breadstick dipped in pizza sauce. I have had days where I ate half of an extra large pizza. Not tonight, not anymore. I can stop now.

I was craving ice cream after dinner so I decided to make some clean banana-based ice cream. I used 1 cup of milk, 4 frozen bananas, 2 tbsp agave, 2 tbsp cocoa powder, and 2 tbsp peanut butter. It was my first time adding peanut butter and it seemed like such a great idea at the time. It didn't really taste so great to me. I'll omit that next time.

All and all, I'd say today was a pretty good day for me. I am trying to not feel guilty of my scheduled Friday indulgence. Tomorrow I'd like to go for a long run--see what kind of distance I am capable of running now. I might take the kids...I'll just have to see what tomorrow brings! And of course, do my p90x workout. Plyometrics. It's a great calorie-burning workout so I should be needing two showers again tomorrow :)

Let's try this again.

I have been bad. Not just a little bad, but B-A-D!! I have been skipping workouts and eating too much junk! And not updating on here at all!! But all of this is about to change :)

I have been slightly obsessed with a certain social networking site for about three and a half years now. Back in the day when I still used Myspace, I noticed an add for a site for moms. I immediately went to check it out and just like that--I was hooked. I was 22 years old. I had recently moved 1000 miles away from my family and friends and life as I knew it to be with my husband Pete at Fort Hood, Texas. Right before our move, I was working two jobs--one at a hospital, one at a pharmacy, and going to school full-time. We got married September 3, 2005, as high school sweethearts and after two years of dating. By the end of September 2005, Pete was gone for Basic Training at Fort Knox and then left for AIT in Maryland. I got to see him twice during this time, once at Basic graduation and then for a week he got off for Christmas. Not your typical newlyweds! Shortly after I rang in 2006 alone, I found out I was pregnant. Then we found out about our orders to go to Fort Hood. We moved to Copperas Cove, Texas, when I was five months pregnant. I tried to find a job right away but no one would hire me. Hmm who would want to hire a big pregnant lady? So for the first time since I was 14 I didn't have a job!! I spent my time reading and eating and watching tv instead of going out and trying to make friends.

On September 12, 2006, our son Peter was born. 9 lbs, 2 oz. Big boy! I was still adjusting to being married and finally getting to be with my husband and living in a new state in an entirely different geographic region with military culture. Then I had a baby to add to the mix! Then, when Peter was only six weeks old, Pete left for his first deployment to Iraq. Here I was, 22, completely alone, with a brand new baby and no familiar faces. I was more than a little overwhelmed. I think I spent the first three days after Pete left just walking around crying. But I couldn't go on like that. I had bills to pay, a small apartment to maintain, and a newborn to take care of. There was no one else to do these things for me or help me out. I had to grow up a lot. My feelings of loneliness were so strong as well as my uncertainty of a first-time mom. So Cafemom felt like a God-sent!

I "met" so many people those first few months of being on that site. I found a local mom's group full of moms just like me--young with little kids who knew what it was like to be a military wife! Score! And so many other kinds of women. I realized I had led a pretty sheltered life up to that time. I made some friendships there in Texas as well as many others from afar. I think it really helped me get through that fifteen month deployment. I finally had support and some adult interaction. I started to feel like Tangy again. It was nice.

Now I'm not writing this to be all nostalgic, and you may be wondering, what the heck does this have to do with my weight loss? Cafemom means so much to me on so many levels. It has been part of my life longer than my daughter has. I have let it get too far. It has become too all-consuming. I care so much about everyone on there and can't wait to see the latest story that I have been putting myself and my family on the back burner. I have to distance myself for a while. I have been spending more time online every day than working out or reading to my kids, and that is a problem. So I am taking a little break. It will KILL me. I will be so tempted to log in real quick on my phone, but I am not even going to do that. I have to spend my time doing other things. Like cleaning so that during naptime I can go workout instead of cleaning up for two hours.

I am going to re-commit myself to working out and eating clean. This is going to be a big challenge for me because I have commitment issues with changing my life. I can't ever seem to stick with anything!! I know I have to change my habits if I want to see any results. Starting tomorrow I will be logging in everything I eat and every workout I do or Don't do. I will learn what works for me and what doesn't by being completely honest with myself. And with whoever else wants to see.

Something important I am going to start doing--setting goals for the next day. Tomorrow's goals: wake up and go running with Clark, clean my house throughout the day, do p90x at naptime, make a clean family meal for dinner, and keep my carb intake in check. I'll be back tomorrow!